Taxi Cab Stories

Infused with John's unique sense of wry humor, these stories take the reader along on a ride through John's experiences as a cab driver in Brockton, Mass during the late 1970s. The stories are a mixture of the hilarious, odd, insightful, and sorrowful; introducing the reader to such characters as Black Laurel and Hardy, Captain Quaalude, and Mr. Magoo.This is how one cab ride ended as John pulled up to an ER..."An orderly, hearing the tires give up their remaining tread in an anguished squeal, ran out expecting a near death emergency arrival. I jammed my driver seat forward and ran over to open Mom's door. She got out calmly, I was anticipating a warm "thanks."She got hold of her purse. I figured to get the fare and a great tip. Instead, she starts beating me with it! Hard! I am 6′4″ and she was able to hit me squarely on top of my head. She was going to nail me into the ground like a human spike!She said, "I told you to get me to the hospital quickly, not to put me in it!" (as she rained beats down on me with her purse) Little Guy (her son) was hopping up and down saying "Can we do that again!?! That was unbelievable!" which made Mom angrier.The orderly skidded to a stop, wondering if I was the bad guy, Mom was a maniac, or this might be some personal matter between two consenting adults, especially one (Mom) that weighed about 4 times what he did. He said nothing, did not come an inch closer. He seemed frozen in fear, a desire for personal safety, and a crushing curiosity to see how it played out."This is how another cab ride ended after two guys considered robbing John..."I got them to their destination in one piece. The fare was just under $10, blond threw me a twenty and said, "Keep it," as they fell over themselves in their hurry to get out. I didn't even thank them for the tip, just acted as if I expected it. Like it was payment for the 'joy ride.'The last thing the black-haired guy said as the scrambled out. "I never met someone as nuts as you, man. Never!"Blond goes, "You're not safe, man. You're nuts. You shouldn't be f**kin' driving!"I looked at them with a bored, 'do this all the time' look and shrugged....I radioed for Gary to get the cops. I gave the address, a description, and said the cops should be careful as at least one was armed."Join John for other fares as he drives from experience to experience, wending his way through an incredible world of stories from his cab driving days.