Short Stories from the Long Links

Short Stories from the Long Links is a collection of 25+1 golf related tales for those that love golf but can't always play. Some stories are inspired by real life events, daily activities, and golf endeavors while other stories are extremely outlandish, funny, scary, motivational, surprising, and unusual; but all are enjoyable to any golfer. Chapter 1 sample The Early Bird AFTER DINNER, while at the club, Rodger overheard a couple of members arguing about tee times. "I much prefer the late afternoon to tee off," one club member said. "The day is starting to wind down and it makes for a more relaxed round. And if your golf is timed properly, you can finish at the precise moment that dinner is set." "I'm sorry to disagree, but you have it all wrong," another member stated. "The absolute best time to tee off is first thing in the morning. I don't mean to say you should be one of the first couple of groups to tee off but, rather, I mean be the first person to play, before the course has been touched by a single soul. There is an energy in the air. Some in the Far East say it has to do with solar flares or something cosmic as the Earth itself begins to wake up. Codswallop, if you ask me, but there is a difference in attitude while playing that early in the day." "Yes, I agree. It's called lack of sleep," the first responded. "To look out over the many fairways, still wet from the morning dew without a single footprint on them is something beautiful to observe. I've also found that it improves my game!" At that last comment Rodger perked up. He was always looking for ways to decrease his handicap and had been unable to move it more than a fraction of a stroke in a very long time. "You're joking," the first member said to the second. "I am not. The last time I played first for the day I hit more fairways and made more putts. It was as if I couldn't miss, like my ball was a groundhog running from its shadow to his den, which was in the bottom of the cup." At this point, Rodger could be seen staring at a nearby plant, with his glass halfway to his lips, motionless for the longest time. Had someone paid any attention to him, they surely would have thought him to have had a stroke. "But I like my evening rounds, and the mornings come too early for me. With that, I will gladly give up a few strokes for a good night's sleep," the first said as both chuckled and moved towards the parlor. Still in a catatonic state, Rodger began to calculate how he could start his rounds earlier. This idea was all he could think about throughout the night. The next day, Rodger rang the pro shop at a second past opening. "Good morning. Can I arrange a tee time for you?" the voice on the phone asked. "Yes," said Rodger. "What is your earliest availability tomorrow morning?" "Our first opening is nine forty-five." "That won't do at all. How about the next day?" "We have a nine o'clock opening." "That's still too late. What is the earliest time you allow someone to tee off?" "That would be eight o'clock, sir." "When do you have an eight o'clock tee time vacant?" "Next Thursday." "I'll take it," Rodger stated and hung up the phone. For over a week, Rodger dreamed of that early morning round and of dropping a stroke, maybe three, from his total. Finally, the day came. He checked in at the clubhouse with haste and hurried off, driver in hand. Upon arrival at the first tee, anticipating that glorious untouched Eden, he stopped on the first tee box and surveyed the fairway. Footprints were seen all around the teeing area and down the fairway. Barely visible were trails on the putting green. "Drat," Rodger said. "Some scoundrel played earlier. Well, I may as well golf some as I'm here." And so he did. Playing in a foul mood, he scored one over his handicap. "Absurd," he said to himself after adding his scorecard on the 18th. (continued)