Sacred And Profane Love

Excerpt: ... in love with him. I refused him once, and then I married him. He was as mad for me as I had been for the other one. Yes, I married him, and we both imagined we were going to be happy.' 'And why haven't you been?' I asked. 'This is my shame, ' she said. 'I could not forget the other one. We soon found that out.' 'Did you talk about it, you-and Frank?' I put in, amazed. 'Oh no!' she said. 'It was never mentioned-never once during fifteen years. But he knew; and I knew that he knew. The other one was always between us-always, always, always! The other one was always in my heart. We did our best, both of us; but it was useless. The passion of my life was-it was invincible. I tried to love Frank. I could only like him. Fancy his position! And we were helpless. Because, you know, Frank and I are not the sort of people that go and make a scandal-at least, that was what I thought, ' she sighed. 'I know different now. Well, he died the day before yesterday.' 'Who?' 'Crettell. He had just been made a judge. He was the youngest judge on the bench-only forty-six.' 'Was that the man?' I exclaimed; for Crettell's character was well known in London. 'That was the man. Frank came in yesterday afternoon, and after he had glanced at the paper, he said: "By the way, Crettell's dead." I did not grasp it at first. He repeated: "Crettell-he's dead." I burst into tears. I couldn't help it. And, besides, I forgot. Frank asked me very roughly what I was crying for. You know, Frank has much changed these last few months. He is not as nice as he used to be. Excuse me talking like this, my dear. Something must be worrying him. Well, I said as well as I could while I was crying that the news was a shock to me. I tried to stop crying, but I couldn't. I sobbed. Frank threw down the paper and stamped on it, and he swore. He said: "I know you've always been in love with the brute, but you needn't make such a damn fuss about it." Oh, my dear, how can I tell you these...