Making the Bible Great Again

50 Bible passages are reimagined as speeches or rants barfed up by moron-in-chief President Donald J. Trump! Hilarious! Great! Greater! The Greaterest! For instance, THE CREATION OF THE WORLD: First I made the world and it was really great. So great. And huge. It was the first huge round thing anyone had ever made. I took the bad hombres from the sky and made so much light. Lights on! I said, and the sky did what I said. I made the Trump water. Perfect water. Hydrogen, oxygen, the whole thing. It's for sale everywhere. I took the ugly fat women who accuse me of huge unbelievable lies and I made them into rhinos. I made the first woman my daughter Ivanka. Isn't she beautiful? I gave her great legs. I love legs on a woman. I was the first man. The first great man. I am still the first great man.