How to Be a Queen

This book is for those female-gendered persons who are trapped like a deer in headlights over the idea of grabbing hold of their own empowerment, putting it on their head, and wearing it out for a nice stroll. It's about how to reclaim your sovereign rights just on the off chance that you never had'em, never stretched'em, never activated'em, or lost'em along the way or worse yet, had some mind-bending asshole swipe them away from you all at once or a little bit at a time over years and years of wearing down. If you are holding this book, then I can guarandamntee you that it's time for you to snatch those things back and wear them like the crown jewels they are. Very nearly every little girl wants to be a princess at some time in her childhood and companies like Disney capitalize on this dream through their "Disney Princess" line of movies and the accompanying accessory line of costumes and play items. Unfortunately, it does not take long at all for the world to strip us of that delightful fantasy and presume we will never pursue it again. In fact, the world works aggressively at making certain that we will never feel Queenly and regal by undermining our confidence at every turn. That is why the weight loss industry is a multi-zillion dollar proposition and hair and make-up companies aren't doing too shabby either. We are taught from early on that how we look, how we act, how we think, and who we are on our own are not acceptable to society. Our purpose in the world, based on the input we receive from the media and people around us is to be useful, quiet, and proper.