Hard Aground with Eddie Jones

This book carries a 100% GUARANTEED RETURN POLICY. We GUARANTEE if you RETURN this book we will get rid of our RETURN POLICY.
All kidding aside, we don't want irate customers posting really nasty reviews of our products, so if you are not 100% satisfied, send a copy of your receipt and maybe a handwritten note explaining why you think this is the worst boating book ever to Slip None, Whittaker Creek, Oriental, North Carolina.
We're not at that address — our boat sank. But they're nice people — or where — and hold our mail.
Now, about this business of boating.
If you DO NOT own a boat, what are you waiting for? A sign? Okay, here's your sign: Salt water covers over 71% of the earth's surface. That means if you had a boat, you could be, at this very minute, wet.
You might also be broke, permanently deformed from living in spaces the size of a Tupperware bread box, and have a dent in your skull from banging your forehead into the companionway hatch.
You may also be divorced.
Next let's talk about this book you may or may not return. Hard Aground... Again is a collection of boating columns offering a "stuck up" look at the underside of cruising and the frustrations "land-cuffed" sailors experience when our plans for coastal exploration and tropical destinations run aground on the shoals of family, finances and failing health.
These columns first appeared in Carolina Cruising and Coastal Cruising Magazine, plus a number of other boating publications — all of which went out of business. Hope you enjoy the book. If not, leave it in a marina library or in an airport.