Bert the Barbarian

It all started when he tried to end it all. Bert Hoover jumped from a bridge, only to be rudely rescued by a flying saucer. Now he's on the backward planet of Mardalu, enslaved by the brutal Morans. His only friend is Janice, but she's been sold into slavery as well. Escape won't be easy, especially for a chronic under-achiever. After that, all Bert has to do is the impossible: find Janice, rescue her, and somehow find a way back to Earth.