BACHELOR 101

More than 30 idiot-proof recipes broken down into a step by step process so simple even a bachelor can understand. ("Open oven door. Slide out rack.")

The reader will also learn important rules for getting his apartment date-ready. ("Back to the underside of the toilet seat, the cleaning equivalent of diving in front of a slap shot. Grab the wet sponge and flip it over so that the Astroturf side is the active one. Start scrubbing. Might not be a bad idea to take a page out of Michael Keaton's handbook from "Mr. Mom" and place a clothespin over your nose.")

Lastly, the bachelor gets a pre-flight checklist to ensure that he is a "go" for his date. ("Ears. Like an ambidextrous miner, arm yourself with Q-tips and go drilling. Repeat with clean swabs until the tips emerge from your ears still white. Note: For those older than 35, I hate to break it to you but you are a 2:1 shot for ear hair. Snip, snip. Sob, sob.")