30 Days

30 Days is the collected journal of one man who is trying to look within himself, with depth and shallowness in equal measure, to discover if he's ready for the relationship he spent a decade trying to recapture. When, after reconnecting months earlier, it's announced that "the one that got away" is coming back, Richard realizes he has the chance he's dreamed of, if he can avoid the mistakes that ruined things the first time. As the waiting becomes a ticking clock, one defined by longing and anticipation and fear, Richard Blaine tries to look inward and figure out exactly where things went wrong last time, how they can go differently this time, and most importantly, whether he knows well enough who he is to see how to become who he wants to be. These are the pages written over the 30 days of waiting, the thoughts, sometimes painfully poignant and other times rambling playful, of a man who is both trapped in joyous anticipation and devastating self doubt in equal, if somewhat veiled, measure. As he examines his own ideas and beliefs he begins to piece together a better understanding of what brought him to this point, and looks for ways that he can change his own story. With an honesty of a man lost with himself, this work follows this actual journey of discovery and doubt that led one man to ask if he has, or even can, change enough to become the man and partner than she needs, and that he'd failed to be a decade earlier, all the while wondering if he'll even get the chance to find out. This is the actual journal of thirty days of one man waiting to find out his fate.