Bøger af Authors and Dragons

More than a mere tale of horror and carnage, Squid Match is a powerful study in class struggles and inequality. Richard Gerard and his father lay everything on the line when they're offered a chance to break free of their impovershed existence by participating in a series of games. If they win, they'll enjoy an all-you-can-eat flapjack buffet. But if they lose, they'll join the multitude of others in untimely, violent deaths. The stakes have never been higher. Put on your game face and brace yourself for a phycological thrill ride unlike any you've ever read.

Giggletime Mountain has a history. A violent, deadly history with pink floppy ears and a blood-soaked axe. One rampage after another befell the poor amusement park visitors, forcing the doors finally shut for good.Until someone saw a chance for profit. Now, for the first time in years, Giggletime Mountain has visitors. Guests who are digging into things best left forgotten. And among the hapless victims, a new challenge slinks through the shadows. Modern murderers, seeking to take the hunting ground for themselves, unaware of the predator that already calls it home.When the blood dries, who will survive the Slaughter on Giggletime Mountain?

Like most girls her age at Shady View Elementary School, Shania has dreams of settling down with a nice boy, raising a couple kids of her own, finally passing the second grade, and maybe one day even whoring on the corner outside Hello Titty.All these dreams are put on hold when her teacher awakens an ancient evil that has been slumbering for millennia.Will Shania ever find love? Can she save her town from this ancient Egyptian menace? Does she have what it takes to break the Mummy's Curse?Be warned, this is not a story for the faint of heart or weak of bladder. It may cause palpitations, uncomfortable rashes, or untimely erections. It may even give you... Shingles.

Deuce Brownwater's life was looking up. He'd gotten the family toilet unclogged, and his dad just stole a bunch of roofing shingles for him to nail to the top of their trailer.But something happened on a fateful October evening that changed Deuce's life forever when he witnessed his older brother and his friends doing something strange in the pumpkin patch. It was an unnatural act that made his wiener tingle.Life threw another curveball at him when the pumpkins came to life and started butchering people. Now it's up to Deuce to save the lives of countless townsfolk, and perhaps even the world.Will therapy, baseball bats, and Ancient Navajo Wisdom be enough to thwart the forces of evil and/or puberty? Find out in this chilling installment of Shingles!

"Hi. I am Brandon Thighmaster. Monk. Hero. Inspiration. I enjoy crunching, squats, looking at myself, looking at other people looking at myself, and long walks on the beach. I also do adventures and stuff, and I guess you can read about them here. But enough about you, let's talk about me. Brandon Thighmaster."

Sometimes, life just isn't fair. Have you ever had one of those days when you make a new best friend, and he's immediately being hunted down by vigilante immigration officers? Or how about a day when you find out your dad married your cousin that you meant to marry someday? Or even a day when you finally save enough money to experience the touch of a beautiful woman, then her head explodes in front of you?For Dougie, that's all the same day.From the time Glubnub suddenly enters his life, Dougie's world will never be the same. Will they be able to outrun the agents of ASS? Or will they penetrate ASS, deliver their load, and destroy it from the inside?You may think you're ready for this tale of supernatural horror, but be warned. Nothing can prepare you for Shingles!

Growing up isn't easy, especially when school's such a hassle, your little sister's annoying, and your mom recently died from a heroin overdose. But there's one place Crystal looks forward to going every summer. Camp Crystal Meth, a place where a girl who can cook meth like no other can get the appreciation she deserves.But this summer will be unlike the carefree meth-cooking summers she's grown so fond of. Something sinister lurks in the shadowy woods, and the camp's darkest secrets are about to be revealed.What you are about to read may shock you. It may keep you awake at night. It may give you...Shingles.

Losing a parent is never easy. Each of us copes in our own way. Some people accept the hand that fate has dealt them and move on with their lives. Others need time and substances. Danny Heyward is choosing a different path. With the help of some sentient cockroaches, he aims to help his mom cheat death for as long as her animated body can hold itself together. But when has playing God ever turned out well for anyone? What will be the consequences of such hubris? Find out in this exciting installment of Shingles!

Emma Peckerman has dreams and aspirations like most kids her age. Someday, she'd like to make a friend, eat a meal, and maybe even pass third grade.But one fateful day, a bag of chicken wings is thrust upon her. Among the herbs and spices of the recipe that begot them hides a terrible secret. A stripper's ghost has placed a curse on these wings, and whoever eats them soon meets an untimely and violent demise!Will Emma be able to resist the finger-licking temptation? Will Jolene wreak the vengeance that will finally put her soul at peace? Will you ever feel safe opening the microwave again?Be warned, this is not a tale for the faint of heart or weak of bladder. After reading this shocking tale of horror, you may never want to eat a dead stripper's chicken wings ever again.For those of you brave enough to continue, always make sure your wings are thoroughly cooked. Otherwise, they might give you salmonella or campybacteriosis. They might even give you... Shingles!

Bonnie led a fairly normal life until her mom accidentally drank vampire semen. Now it's up to her and her new BFF, a vampire named Amelia, to put an end to her mom's reign of terror.Strap in for a tale so terrifying that you might experience chills, sleeplessness, and uncontrollable erections. You might even get... Shingles.

Are your chestnuts roasting? Is your yule log burning? Maybe it's the holiday season, or maybe it's Shingles!Join Maggie as she braves the harsh winter cold to save her family from financial ruin. An honest night's work quickly spirals into an adventure she'll remember for years to come... if she survives!Grab a cup of nog, put your feet up, and settle in for a tale about family, hope, and fire. So much fire.

Being trapped in a video game is cool, right?Not if you happen to be Rob(erta) Hardlick, and the game happens to be Tales of Verdainia. Rob spends "her" days trapped in a body designed purely for aesthetics, trying her best to stay ahead of evolving game mechanics and the idiots trapped in the simulation alongside her. At least she has a trusty nerd named Mitch as a pal and a tried and true formula to avoid being brain-fried for the sake of virtual entertainment.All that changes when she must join a team to stay alive. But will a foul-mouthed barbarian and cowardly priest be enough to stay ahead of the mobs? It's times like this that make you wonder why a misanthropic introvert signed up for a MMORPG. Then again, there are quests to complete, realms to liberate...But why save the world when saving your own ass is a full-time job?

What happens when an unsuspecting magician with an action-movie stage persona accidentally joins a deadly fighting competition? No mere contest of fists, this tournament is held on a mysterious island; filled with strange combatants using weapons, natural augmentations, and some abilities bordering on magic.Armed with nothing more than a trunk of tricks and his skills as an illusionist, will Action Kadabra find a way to survive, or will this magician's next shuffle be off the mortal coil?

THIS THANKSGIVING, MURDER IS THE MAIN COURSE J and her quarantine buddies decide to take a holiday road trip away from the pox-ridden city streets of their home. Their destination: Beaver City, a quaint hick town nestled deep in the Mid-South. Too bad their Thanksgiving road-trip is about to take a detour to Terrorville. Now they find themselves trapped in a cursed meat-packing plant, where a maniacal turkey is picking them off one by one - intent on showing them that this is one entrée that bites back. Grab your gravy boat and prepare to stuff your face with fright in this thrilling installment of Shingles. This year, there won't be any leftovers...

Cooter Conners was your typical son of an out-of-work rodeo clown until he ate a taco that would change his life forever.This Very Special installment of Shingles asks the hard-hitting questions.Is there an afterlife?Does God judge us according to the condiments we consume?Jesus is totally white, right? I mean, like, everybody knows that.You may want to leave the lights on while you read this shocking tale of horror, lest your heart freeze, your bladder fail you, and your skin break out in...Shingles.

How many problems in your life would be solved by a garden gnome that eats people and shits cocaine?Ellie Ferguson is about to discover that not all of life's problems can be solved with violence and drugs.

Johnny Terry is excited to start his new life as the caretaker at the Underpass Motel. A recovering meth addict, Johnny thinks a steady job and a position of responsibility is just what he needs to gain the respect of his family. Unfortunately, his family hate him. Even more unfortunately, the Underpass is haunted by the ghosts of dead porn stars.Can Johnny keep on the straight and narrow? Or will the pressure lead him down a dark path of temptation?

Growing up means making mistakes. Maybe you say a mean thing that you can't take back. Maybe you jizz your pants in front of the girl you love. Maybe you put your dick in a mutant squid.What's important is that you learn from your mistakes.

Married life doesn't always turn out the way you think it will, especially when your dad's new teenage bride acquires not only your recently deceased mom's husband, but also her heart and breast implants. Join Maggie as she embarks on a quest with her new mom to appease her dead mom's restless spirit... before it's too late! But be warned. Though this story begins with a joyous wedding celebration, it soon descends into a tale so terrifying you might never hear wedding bells quite the same way again. This book is not for the feint of heart or weak of bladder. You might find yourself unable to sleep at night. Your pulse may quicken at the most innocuous of sounds. It just might give you... Shingles!

Lucy and her father are just like any working class family trying to make an honest living scamming blind people out of hot dogs. But their lives are turned upside down when a small misunderstanding manifests as a grotesque abomination.They summon a creature so foul, so terrifying, so Irish, that you'll thank your Lucky Charms it's only a story. The terrors be Dublin this time, for you've not only leprosy to fear. You just might catch yourself some Shingles!

Life in a sorority can be pretty competitive, especially when you're hanging with the alpha queen bitch of bitchdom. So, when an opportunity for a party weekend in a secluded cabin comes up, Sandy figures it's a perfect way to forget about the mysterious penis pictures she's been receiving on social media.But as everyone knows, when a bunch of attractive teens meet up at a secluded cabin, there's only ever one winner. And that winner is violent death.Can Sandy figure out what the killer wants before it's too late? Or will she and her friends be murdered with their own sex kinks?

Four friends get more than they bargained for when they break into a seemingly abandoned research lab. Armed only with dildos and basic awareness of 80's pop culture, will they have what it takes to confront the terror that has befallen their small town?Is their new bald friend more than she appears... or less? Will life ever return to normal after they've been exposed to a Stranger's Thing?Disclaimer: This book is not for the faint of heart or weak of bladder. What you are about to read may keep you awake at night or torment your dreams. It may cause the hairs on the back of your neck to stand on end or the hairs on your genitals to itch.It may even give you... Shingles.

It was supposed to be a family vacation just like any other. Mom off blowing random dudes somewhere. Dad crying at the hotel bar. Eric and his little brother Bobby left to fend for themselves in the hotel room with no food or money. But this vacation would be different, because Eric is about to meet the love of his life. He's about to get a crash course in love, the real dangers of drug use, and maybe... just maybe... butt stuff. Buckle up, kids. We're going to Hypo Beach, and it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Nobody likes getting bullied, and Donny has had enough. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he solicits the help of the old Asian man at the end of his street to teach him Karate. During a grueling two days of training, Donny earns belt after belt, until he finally becomes a Karate Master.But there is more to those belts than there seems. Cursed with ancient dark magic, they have a mind of their own. Will Donny be able to stand up to his bullies? Will he be able to overpower the will of the spirit trapped within the cursed belts? Will he win the love of the most beautiful girl in the whole trailer park?Find out in this chilling tale of horror.

Molly Stein's life was hard enough before she started noticing some weird changes.She's growing hair in strange places, waking up with blood on her clothes, and a suspicious number of people seem to be exploding around her.As if that's not enough, now she has to deal with sudden celebrity status after taking the biggest dump anyone in town has ever seen.If there's one thing she learns, it's that horse semen can't solve all a girl's problems... or can it?Find out in this spine-tingling installment of Shingles!

Jonathon Mason is going on a road trip with his dad. A trip to Slewant Hill. Although his father may be too drunk to explain it, Jonathon has a fateful link to the abandoned town, a link that will force him to confront the darkest shadows of his psyche. When their car veers out of control, Jonathon awakes alone in a cloud of endless butt fog. Can he find his drunk dad and escape Slewant Hill before the monsters come for him?